These are examples of Messages From Childhood: They may have controlled your thinking, emotions andbehaviors all your life. Cognitive Therapy can help you change theseRules, Beliefs, Strategies, Assumptions and Habits to more productiveand adaptive ones:
In order to be happy, I have to be successful in whatever I
undertake. My value as a person depends on what others think of
me. If someone disagrees with me, it means they don't like
me. I can't live without a man (woman). If I make a mistake, it means that I am inept. To be happy, I must be accepted by all people at all
times. If you want people to like you, you should
always be nice to them. Never confront them. One must have full control over life at all
times. It is safer to keep people at a distance. If they really get
to know me, they won't like me. Others can make mistakes and violate the standards but I
can't. Security is of utmost importance. It is better to stay with
the security of the known even if it is full of negatives. Because I feel I am worthless, others must think I am
worthless also. Trusting others is dangerous. I should not burden others with my troubles. If I do not do my best all the time and achieve success,
others will not like me and I will be unloved and worthless. If there is a chance that something dangerous or fearsome
might happen, one should worry about it. One needs someone stronger than oneself to rely
on. My past is an all-important determinant of my present
behavior and if something once strongly affected me, it will always affect
me. There is a right, precise, and perfect solution to problems
and I should be able to find it. If I sacrifice for others and always put them first, they
will love me.
